ONLINE THERAPY IN CALIFORNIA
Layne Baker, Licensed Therapist
Anxiety and overthinking can put you in a place of stuckness.
And perfectionism can keep you trapped there because you worry about making your next choice the "right" choice. Put that together with your hard-earned status as a High Achiever, and whoa– pressure, much?
Unfortunately, there is rarely (if ever) such a thing as "getting it right."
This is a message you’ve gotten over and over throughout your life thanks to an untenable combination of black and white thinking + skyscraping expectations.
Decisions are either good/bad or right/ wrong, without any permission to be curious about the infinite shades of choices in between (wasn’t it curiosity that killed the cat?).
There is a way out of this exhausting and stressful headspace that can bring you the clarity, confidence and unwavering self-trust you dream of. And the answer is closer than you might think.
In my 10+ years as a therapist, I have come to believe that your life and relationships will be transformed when you tap into your core values– and start making decisions from there, rather than the fixed binary of right vs. wrong.
Values-based decision making is not always easy, nor is it comfortable. In fact, if you’re accustomed to overthinking, taking care of others’ feelings ahead of your own or worrying about getting things “wrong,” values-based decision making can be downright terrifying.
But I promise you, once you start putting your values to work, even the hard stuff like setting boundaries, centering your needs, embracing limits, finding balance and having tough conversations… can be so, SO good.
Michelin star levels of Delicious.
So, where do we even begin when it comes to our work together?
That’s a really good question. And really good questions are EXACTLY where we begin.
But not just any questions, and not just the ones you already know the answer to, like your family history, behavioral patterns and relationship profile. Yes, this is all incredibly important information and supportive to your therapeutic experience. Your history certainly matters because it has shaped who you are and how you move through the world.
Our work together will also target the questions that you don’t yet know the answers to– the ones that give you pause and invite you to the deep, uncomfortable place of the great unknowns in your life. The ones that really make you think. When we tap into a place where you don’t really know the answer yet– it sparks your true, authentic curiosity and wonder. And true, authentic curiosity is how some of the greatest discoveries in the world have been made (hello, electricity! Fossils! The freakin’ Milky Way!). All from asking really good questions.
AKA WHAT IT’S REALLY LIKE TO WORK TOGETHER
My Approach
I show up to our sessions ready for a conversation, and do my best to make sure you walk away from our time together getting what you needed from the work that day– whether it be support or solutions, or a blend of both.
I take notes with your permission, primarily capturing your exact language and the words that you choose to describe your experience. Your language is meaningful and crucial to our work! I’ll often refer back to these notes in future sessions, reflecting your words back to you to find out if they still fit, or if a new description of something has emerged to take its place (a mood or state of mind, a decision you’re making, your feelings about a big life transition, for example).
This reflection exercise is one of our most powerful tools because it draws upon your past self’s assessment of a situation or a feeling to help you hone in on any shifts you might be experiencing days, weeks or even months later. And hearing your own wisdom shared with you can be exactly the salve you need to soothe a tender thought or feeling.
Now, a little backstory on how curiosity became one of my core values and inspires my work as a therapist today.
During my career as a performer, I was on my way to an audition one day when I decided to pull into a coffee shop instead. There I sat, as my call time came and went, and I felt… relief. Ease. And a heaping ton of curiosity about why on Earth I veered into that parking lot instead of what I was supposed to be doing.
That was the moment that I began to question if I was still doing what I actually wanted to be doing with my life and career. A career I had felt the pressure to keep pursuing for mine and others’ pride in my accomplishments and drive, simply because it was a choice I had made at a young age, and devoted thousands and thousands of hours and dollars to (not to mention a Bachelor’s Degree!).
The relief I felt at that coffee shop became a turning point where, perhaps for the first time, I started to challenge the idea that I had to keep making the same choice simply because it was the original one. What else was waiting for me to find it on the other side of releasing myself from this one choice? Spoiler alert: EVERYTHING.
Curiosity did not kill the cat… It set her on a course for transformation.
As your therapist, my mission is to create a collaborative environment for you to excavate what it is that you really want for your life; to draw out your values, hopes and dreams through meaningful conversation, and encourage their translation into action.
The Official Nuts & Bolts About Me:
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+ Layne Baker, LMFT (she/her)
+ Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in California | License #96754 -
+ MA in Psychology- Emphasis in Marriage & Family Therapy
+ BA in Music- Vocal Performance -
My work is primarily informed by Postmodern Therapy practices:
+ Strengths-Based
+ Solution-Focused
+ Relational
+ Humanistic
+ Trauma Informed
+ LGBTQIA+ Affirmative
+ Culturally ResponsiveThis basically means that my approach is non-hierarchical and non-pathologizing. Meaning, I do not view you as an “unwell person” coming to me, an expert and authority figure, for help. I do view you as a whole and unbroken person, who is struggling against some pretty intense problems that are impacting the quality of your life and relationships.
While I do of course have specialized training, knowledge and experience in the therapy space, you are the expert in you– and that makes us a powerhouse team. Together, we co-create your path for healing. Think of it this way: I know how to get us to your destination, but you’re the one in the driver’s seat.
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+ Narrative Therapy
+ BSFT (Brief Solution Focused Therapy)
+ CLS (Collaborative Language Systems)
+ ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)
+ MI (Motivational Interviewing)
+ CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)
+ TRM (Trauma Resiliency Model)
+ MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) -
The core values of my work as a therapist are:
Curiosity
A question is not a question if you already know the answer. And while what you do know certainly has its place and is mega important, it’s the things that you don’t yet know that are your ingredients for change, lying in wait. We can’t even begin to scratch the surface of the unknown without a heapful of curiosity. This is where the work begins.
Connection
What is statistically proven to matter the most in your therapeutic experience is the relationship you have with your therapist. Not their background, experience or expertise. Not how long they have been in the field or where they got their degree. It’s. The. Relationship. When we share an authentic connection, we build trust, safety, equity and respect.
Collaboration
I am not in this to work harder for your change than you are willing to work for yourself. Our therapy together is a collaborative experience that requires both of us to show up with effort and intention.
LET’S NOT MAKE IT WEIRD
A little BTT (behind the therapist!) about me:
I am also a spouse, mother, dog parent, daughter, sister and friend.
As a kid, I lived on a ranch in Southern California.
I spent 20 years in my “first” career as a singer, dancer and actor. I still break out my tap shoes and will always love to sing!
I have an unhealthy obsession with baby goats (probably thanks to that whole ranch thing).
I hate to cook but I love to clean the kitchen. Gimme all the dishes. I am not joking.
I think Life is part Manifest, part Make It Happen– and sometimes I am Livin’ on a Prayer, while other times I am Livin’ on a Specific-Plan-with-Measurable-Goals-and-Outcomes.
My sweet pup, Finley, will often moonlight at my feet during online therapy sessions! She’s an excellent listener.
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High Functioning Anxiety
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Relationship Issues
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Personal Growth